A Smart Ass

Simplifying Life

This is a simple concept that I have been working on for most of my life.
I am delighted to say that I believe I have now refined it sufficiently to share it with a select band of friends that may appreciate its elegance and simplicity…

A NEW GUN

Ruger is coming out with a new pistol in honor of our lawmakers.
It will be named the Politician!

It doesn’t work and you can’t fire it.

2011

This year, July has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays.
This happens once every 823 years.

This year we’re going to experience four unusual dates.
1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11, 11/11/11 and that’s not all…

Take the last two digits of the year in which you were born -
now add the age you will be this year,
The results will be 111 for everyone in whole world.

2010 in review

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads This blog is doing awesome!.

Crunchy numbers

A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 4,500 times in 2010. That’s about 11 full 747s.

In 2010, there were 32 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 74 posts. There were 154 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 61mb. That’s about 3 pictures per week.

The busiest day of the year was September 29th with 68 views. The most popular post that day was You Might Be A Redneck…..

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were facebook.com, en.wordpress.com, terralinda72.com, 74.125.67.100, and lmodules.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for harp, edgar mueller, harp guitar, fretless bass, and redneck.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

You Might Be A Redneck…. September 2009

2

Amazing Artist: Edgar Mueller April 2010

3

The Hamer USA 12-string Bass January 2009
1 comment

4

Harwin Fretless Bass January 2009
2 comments

5

09 World Guitar Show – USA Guitar January 2009
1 comment

Just loaded a new app and…..

-some days this app is quite useful…

A shot of my home server.. hehe

wonder why mom keeps telling me to clean up all the wires in her living room?

HOW TO TELL THE SEX OF A BIRD

This Is AMAZING!!!Until now I never fully understood how to tell The difference Between Male and Female Birds. I always thought it had to be determined surgically. Until Now. Below are Two Birds. Study them closely…See If You Can Spot Which of The Two Is The Female. It can be done. Even by one with limited bird watching skills

Of course the opposite sex also has it’s respective tell tale traits..

haha……..

WARNING! GRAPHIC BOATING PHOTO. THIS IS A PICTURE OF A MAN WITH JUST SECONDS LEFT TO LIVE

Crazy Ernie’s Bargain Hut

You’ll find the best prices in the world at…

Crazy Ernie’s Bargain Hut!

At Crazy Ernie’s, we buy manufacturers’ overstocks and closeouts–and we pass our savings right on to you! Here’s just a couple of the fabulous bargains Crazy Ernie has in store for you this week:

All Maxxim Dipods on sale –two-thirds the legs of an expensive camera tripod, but only one quarter the price! Buy before September 30th, and get a Maxxim adhesive lens protector absolutely free!

Gener Mills’ Kap’n Kosher High-Protein Chicken Puffs! Made with 100% real chicken, these delicious honey-sweetened puffs will stay crunchy in whatever fluid you pour on them–they’re not just good for you, they’re Chicken-riffic!

Factory second records at 75% off! A major record label made an entire pressing of Neil Sedaka, Slim Whitman, and John Cage albums before discovering that the master tapes had been loaded backwards–and their mistake is your gain, since you save big bucks and, except for a few insignificant satanic messages, most of these albums sound about the same backwards anyway!

Discover Buried Treasures and Keep your lawn trim-and-tidy with Weed Wonder Nothing keeps unsightly weeds and unruly grasses in line better than a high-powered rotary string trimmer, but who wants to spend the day whacking weeds without a chance of getting rich doing it? The incredible Weed Wonder, is the first product to combine a high-precision metal detector with a powerful rotary string trimmer, so you can discover coins, buried gold, or rare and collectable bottle caps while making your lawn the envy of the neighborhood!

New York Times Worst-Sellers at up to 90% off the original cover price! “My Life as a Lemon,” by Carl Pong; “A Pictorial History of Mid-Twentieth Century Dental Hygiene Problems,” by Daniel Carries; “1001 Best-Loved Tartar Sauce Recipies,” by Agatha Bedsore; “Dan Quayle’s Workout Book,” by J. Danforth Quayle; “A Cartoonist’s Guide to Onomatopoetic Spellings of Embarrassing Bodily Noises,” by Leonard van der Oooooompphhhtplbt; “The Unauthorized Autobiography of Milli Vanilli,” by Milli Vanilli; and hundreds more!

All wall maps of Europe at least 60% off! We’ve got over fifty different maps of Europe, so you can pick the national boundaries that work best with your decor! New surplus maps are arriving daily, so our selection is always great!

Factory second frypans 55% off! Sometimes manufacturers don’t get the teflon to stick to their pans–but their technical problems mean big savings for you! Buy two and we’ll throw in an extra mismatched pot lid, absolutely free!

All 34mm film rolls on sale! Major manufacturer failed to proofread its design spec until after making millions of rolls of color film! Same great formulation as their 35mm film, just 3% smaller–but we’re discounting it, not 3%, but an incredible 75%, so stock up now!

Double Barrel Fat-Free Sun-Dried Potato Chips, 80% off! Okay, they’re nasty, but the price is right, and they’re the perfect snack food for any occasion given by someone you don’t like–bet you can eat just one!

SofPuf individually wrapped toilet tissue squares –for the ultimate in sanitary freshness, you can’t beat these individually cellophane-wrapped squares of soft-as-marshmallow facial quality tissue! Available in eighteen designer colors and genuine perfume scents!

PlopCo Water-Soluble Sponges! No more discarded sponges filling up our nation’s landfills or mildewing sponges smelling up your kitchen with PlopCo’s water-soluble sponges! They’ll soak up spills like there’s no tomorrow and then they’re gone! Save even more with PlopCo’s new 100-sponge HandiPak!

East End Hot Water Popcorn Popper! Easily and conveniently pops corn without adding any fat or sodium! The first popcorn popper that’s not only healthy, but quiet! Water-popped popcorn is quiet to eat too–no more annoying crunching while you chew! Now 60% off at Crazy Ernie’s!

Presto Butane Barbecue, now 70% off! No more hard-to-light coals, no more hard-to-lug propane tanks! The Presto Butane Barbecue works off an ordinary cigarette lighter, giving you seconds of steak-sizzling heat off a single disposable lighter! Buy before October first and get a free package of 100 20% off coupons for Presto disposable lighters!

75% off all Spamasonic cordless phones! Earthquakes destroyed the section of the Spamasonic factory where they make their telephone cords, so we’re selling them to you at this incredible discount! All are in perfect condition and will probably work great if you can figure out how to connect them to anything! Buy several so you’ll have enough to experiment with! Bases and handsets sold separately.

PlibCo is closing out their entire line of iron-on temporary tatoos! Everything from anchors to roses to a complete assortment of first names–all at fantastic savings! Apply in seconds–last for weeks! Yet they’re easily removed with just a bit of acetone and a putty knife!