You’ll find the best prices in the world at…
Crazy Ernie’s Bargain Hut!
At Crazy Ernie’s, we buy manufacturers’ overstocks and closeouts–and we pass our savings right on to you! Here’s just a couple of the fabulous bargains Crazy Ernie has in store for you this week:
All Maxxim Dipods on sale –two-thirds the legs of an expensive camera tripod, but only one quarter the price! Buy before September 30th, and get a Maxxim adhesive lens protector absolutely free!
Gener Mills’ Kap’n Kosher High-Protein Chicken Puffs! Made with 100% real chicken, these delicious honey-sweetened puffs will stay crunchy in whatever fluid you pour on them–they’re not just good for you, they’re Chicken-riffic!
Factory second records at 75% off! A major record label made an entire pressing of Neil Sedaka, Slim Whitman, and John Cage albums before discovering that the master tapes had been loaded backwards–and their mistake is your gain, since you save big bucks and, except for a few insignificant satanic messages, most of these albums sound about the same backwards anyway!
Discover Buried Treasures and Keep your lawn trim-and-tidy with Weed Wonder Nothing keeps unsightly weeds and unruly grasses in line better than a high-powered rotary string trimmer, but who wants to spend the day whacking weeds without a chance of getting rich doing it? The incredible Weed Wonder, is the first product to combine a high-precision metal detector with a powerful rotary string trimmer, so you can discover coins, buried gold, or rare and collectable bottle caps while making your lawn the envy of the neighborhood!
New York Times Worst-Sellers at up to 90% off the original cover price! “My Life as a Lemon,” by Carl Pong; “A Pictorial History of Mid-Twentieth Century Dental Hygiene Problems,” by Daniel Carries; “1001 Best-Loved Tartar Sauce Recipies,” by Agatha Bedsore; “Dan Quayle’s Workout Book,” by J. Danforth Quayle; “A Cartoonist’s Guide to Onomatopoetic Spellings of Embarrassing Bodily Noises,” by Leonard van der Oooooompphhhtplbt; “The Unauthorized Autobiography of Milli Vanilli,” by Milli Vanilli; and hundreds more!
All wall maps of Europe at least 60% off! We’ve got over fifty different maps of Europe, so you can pick the national boundaries that work best with your decor! New surplus maps are arriving daily, so our selection is always great!
Factory second frypans 55% off! Sometimes manufacturers don’t get the teflon to stick to their pans–but their technical problems mean big savings for you! Buy two and we’ll throw in an extra mismatched pot lid, absolutely free!
All 34mm film rolls on sale! Major manufacturer failed to proofread its design spec until after making millions of rolls of color film! Same great formulation as their 35mm film, just 3% smaller–but we’re discounting it, not 3%, but an incredible 75%, so stock up now!
Double Barrel Fat-Free Sun-Dried Potato Chips, 80% off! Okay, they’re nasty, but the price is right, and they’re the perfect snack food for any occasion given by someone you don’t like–bet you can eat just one!
SofPuf individually wrapped toilet tissue squares –for the ultimate in sanitary freshness, you can’t beat these individually cellophane-wrapped squares of soft-as-marshmallow facial quality tissue! Available in eighteen designer colors and genuine perfume scents!
PlopCo Water-Soluble Sponges! No more discarded sponges filling up our nation’s landfills or mildewing sponges smelling up your kitchen with PlopCo’s water-soluble sponges! They’ll soak up spills like there’s no tomorrow and then they’re gone! Save even more with PlopCo’s new 100-sponge HandiPak!
East End Hot Water Popcorn Popper! Easily and conveniently pops corn without adding any fat or sodium! The first popcorn popper that’s not only healthy, but quiet! Water-popped popcorn is quiet to eat too–no more annoying crunching while you chew! Now 60% off at Crazy Ernie’s!
Presto Butane Barbecue, now 70% off! No more hard-to-light coals, no more hard-to-lug propane tanks! The Presto Butane Barbecue works off an ordinary cigarette lighter, giving you seconds of steak-sizzling heat off a single disposable lighter! Buy before October first and get a free package of 100 20% off coupons for Presto disposable lighters!
75% off all Spamasonic cordless phones! Earthquakes destroyed the section of the Spamasonic factory where they make their telephone cords, so we’re selling them to you at this incredible discount! All are in perfect condition and will probably work great if you can figure out how to connect them to anything! Buy several so you’ll have enough to experiment with! Bases and handsets sold separately.
PlibCo is closing out their entire line of iron-on temporary tatoos! Everything from anchors to roses to a complete assortment of first names–all at fantastic savings! Apply in seconds–last for weeks! Yet they’re easily removed with just a bit of acetone and a putty knife!